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Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Alaskans.

 If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Alaska.

 If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Alaska.

 If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Alaska.

 If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Alaska.

 If you know several people who have hit a moose more than once, you may live in Alaska.

 If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you may live in Alaska.

 If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Alaska.

 If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Alaska.

 If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Alaska.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Alaska.

 If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Alaska.

 If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Alaska.

 If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Alaska.

 If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Alaska.

 If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Alaska.

 If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to your entire Alaskan friends & others, you definitely live in Alaska.

You burn your front yard rather than rake it
Fewer than half of your cars run
The taillight covers of your car are made of tape.
The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes
Your primary source of income is the pawn shop
You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill
You can't tell what color your car is because of the dirt
None of your shirts cover your stomach
You've ever shot a moose from inside your garage
You've ever been too drunk to fish
You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge
The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road
Your dog and your wallet are both on chains
Every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard
You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income
You use all your broken down vehicles for storage.
You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.
You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car
You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard
You mow your lawn and find a car
You have a house that's mobile and five cars that aren't.
Taking your wife on a cruise means circling Miller Loop Rd.
Your secret family recipe is illegal
You've ever hitchhiked naked
You use the O on a stop sign to sight your new rifle.
The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car
You've ever filled your moose tag on your front lawn.
There are more fish on your wall than pictures.
There are more dishes in your sink than in your cabinets
Your wife's birthday present is a chainsaw.
The duct tape on your car seat sticks to your butt when you get out.
You only go to the dump when you have enough to fill up the pickup
You don't use a garbage service because it must be placed up near the mail box and you can't see far enough thru the trees to shoot the neighbors' dogs when they get into it

After a woman moved to a small town in Alaska, she called the Alaska Department of Transportation about a Moose crossing sign by her house. She complained that moose were being hit by cars all the time and she wanted the sign to be moved so the moose can cross the road somewhere else where it was safer.


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This is a good joke page that has lots of funny jokes about northroaders and living in alaska and the typical homesteader.